The process of learning to trust myself, my knowing, my body, has been fucking hard, requiring a Lifetime of focus. The various flavors of trauma I’ve experienced fractured me. What an enormous, lonely challenge: to bridge the massive gulfs between who I am and who I’ve been told to be.
That’s part of what trauma does; it isolates aspects of who we are from the community of the self internally and the community of Life externally.
We suffer from:
Insecurity
Fear
Despair
Lack of confidence
Narcissism
Lack in all its forms
Anger
Desperation
Neediness
Etc…
(Is it even possible to capture a fraction of what trauma does to us individually and collectively? No.)
We suffer from distrust.
How do we feel the stirrings of possibilities within us?
How do we hear the whispers of arousal that beckon us to unfurl from our Winter hibernations?
How is this even possible when many of us deeply mistrust our wisdom and knowing?
Right now, when I leave the house, all I see is snow, snow everywhere. My eyes do not believe in the possibility of Spring, growth, creation. The world appears barren.
But…this is not true.
Spring is coming.
Winter’s rest will continue for a while on this spot of the globe in the Upper Midwest Great Lakes Region. Wintering can be accessed anytime needed. It’s a season, a state of mind when resting, slowing down, and quiet is required. There’s no need to get caught up in any FOMO about Spring because you are lying Low-Low when the quickening of Imbolc begins to stir the earth.
Our Springs come when they're ready.
Tomorrow is Imbolc. The Celtic pagan and widely observed by many traditions, Holiday of the Quickening. Spring (in the Northern hemisphere) is beginning to rustle, under the snow or deep within the cold earth. Imbolc has been observed for a long time and is marked by:
Lighting candles
Bonfires
Milk, especially of the lamby kind
Cleansing
Purification
Pledging
Initiation
Honoring of the mighty Deity Brigid. (Aka St. Brigid, if you lean the Christian way.)
I’m hoping this week that one of the many Witches I know and adore who are devoted to Brigid will offer me some beauty to pass on to you. I identify as a Witch, but this is mainly a family of origin blessing that I continue in my Life. I honor all spiritual traditions and the wisdom they offer, and I think they all are full of shit. My primary devotion is to Life.
Practice: Becoming Curious About What’s Stirring?
(I suggest approaching this practice with lightness and love unless you're ready to dive in deep. It’s all good, dear ones. Challenge by choice.)
Set a timer for 5-10 mins or as long as desired.
Get quiet in a way that feels nourishing and safe-ish.
Reduce any distractions.
Chill, relax, breathe deeply and slowly.
It’s perfectly beautiful if movement is involved or stillness.
Once settled into a relaxed space/rhythm, ask yourself:
How do I feel within my heart/mind/soul/body?
What do I feel within my heart/mind/soul/body?
What do I want now?
What do I need now?
What’s stirring to be known?
7. After completion, drink a glass of water and jot down any impressions that surfaced. If nothing came up, cool. We can't predict when something begins to quicken within us.
Spring is on its way, although there’s plenty of Winter left for a polar bear cub like me! (Well, not enough! I’m a Winter Weirdo!) The earth is doing its shimmy, and in the Northern Hemisphere, Life is waking up from a long Winter’s nap. Maybe we are too? Wow, have the last two years felt like a horrible dream at times!
This energy of Imbolc can be like that moment right before you wake up, where you are swimming to the surface of the unconscious Ocean of Dreamland. That suspended time betwixt and between. Possibilities nudge you but don’t quite grab hold. If you’re lucky (or trained in doing Dream Work.) you can identify what's rustling and wanting to be brought into consciousness.
Trusting:
What's beginning to emerge within us.
Spring will come.
Ourselves a little more.
May we be stirred, not shaken into possibilities.
Blessed Imbolc!
We do this thing together.
We do this thing together.